I finally understood Logic!
Believe it or not, it’s incredibly easy when the teacher is not underestimating you all the time. I had to re-write some exercises because I left them at home (my real home, not grandma’s place) and I finally could see the whole process. I don’t know why I didn’t get it before.
These two days have been difficult because I told myself to not buy more books until the last sales on Friday, because then I’ll get the best prices. But having the book fair so close to my classrooms is like being a recently diagnosed diabetic in Willy Wonka’s factory. I just want to run there and take everything off the shelves. But if I do that I won’t be able to buy all I want, so I must wait.
Yesterday I embarrassed myself in front of Matsumoto-san. He asked me a really simple question, “Are you going home?” (ie e kaerimasuka) and I didn’t understand it. He repeated it three times until I finally got it. I answered that I was still going to Portuguese class and I ran away. I was really ashamed. How could I not understand a three words question in simple non-past tense? It’s first grade knowledge! I think his presence makes me nervous, because I can only communicate with him in a language that causes me troubles. That’s why in order to redeem myself I stalked on Facebook until he published something useful: he was talking about his new fridge (he recently moved to the country) and that he wanted a rice maker. So I wrote that I knew where to buy one online and linked it. The problem is, although my comment was grammatically correct, I’m not sure that it was an appropriate thing to do from a Japanese person’s point of view. I hope I didn’t break any Bushido rule or something like that.
By the way, do you remember I wrote that I was making a research paper? Well, guess what: I have nothing. Zero, nada, niente, rien, nani mo arimasen. You see, the teacher divided us the classes to individually explain to us what we had to do, and I got one of the last ones (today). I was just improvising what I thought I had to do (this is the first time I have a research subject ever). It turns out I’m using the wrong method and I need to research everything again, write around twenty pages about why doing something that in my head was justified with a “why not?”, make a poll, analyse data and make conclusions, and I don’t even understand the bibliography system. I’m screwed. So I think the whole “I’m going to study Kanji to death” will have to wait until Wednesday. And my books. And maybe I skip one or two blog days.
In other news, I finally accepted that my plan of creating new whovians before the anniversary to watch it at their homes won’t work. There’s not enough time and it’s really impossible to make anyone watch 91 episodes plus specials in ten days. And that drove me to think I should ask Whovie after all. I mean, we’re the only two whovians in the city, we’re kind of friends and she lives relatively close. In Spock’s logic, it would be reasonable. The problem comes when I want to take it to practice, because thing would get pretty awkward considering that…
1.- It’s going to be at 4:30 a.m. for the time difference, so I’d actually be asking her to spend the night in her house.
2.- We’d be alone there, on her couch, under a blanket and eating fish fingers and custard. Her whole family would be asleep because they don’t care about the show.
Those two reasons make me freak out about the sole idea of asking her to watch it together. And I don’t even know if she’s going to watch it the same day; there’s only one TV provider that has BBC here, and I don’t know if they’ll transmit it on that channel, or if she has it. It’s a big bet that I’d be making. I had this whole train of thought in ten seconds when Curlz told me to ask her, and even when I don’t like to recognise it, Whovie is smarter than me, so she will immediately see it, and she could think that I want to take advantage of her or something. So I have nine days to think about it, and I have to organise a cover, because my parents and relatives would kill me if they found out that I spent the night at some girl’s house. It’s a really wibbly-wobbly thing for a timey-wimey show that I can just download the next day anyway. Any opinion will be welcome.
It’s not just the show, though. It’s the opportunity to be with her. To spend the night together, sharing something that we both love and enjoy. Even with all our differences, our arguing, all the hard times we’d had and all the difficulties that it would carry to date her. I just want to do it. I’m not even thinking about sex, both of us have very strong opinions about that (she has confidence issues and I have a trauma from an ex-girlfriend). But it could be romantic in some way. She’s Amy and I’m Rory, and even when I’d be the third one on the attention line (David Tennant and Matt Smith would totally take me down) I still believe that something could be good. Maybe a kiss. I sometimes dream about her lips, how beautiful they are and how marvellous is her voice.
And yesterday night, when I was watching The Big Bang Theory, there was a really romantic scene that I won’t talk about because someone could not have seen it yet, but that made think. I want what he wants. I want to be able to do that for someone, to show her how much I care about her, to make her smile and be happy- I want to be that guy, because even being the weirdest person he can be, he has love, and he has someone to give love to. I wish I could do that.
I think it’s time to go to sleep. Tomorrow I have a lot to do and not enough time. So, the three things that I learnt today:
1.- Propositional Logic is totally useless unless you want to program Java.
2.- Being with the person you like and sharing the thing that you love must be the greatest experience that one could ever have. And I have nine days to prove it.
3.- When you want love, real love, it’s not about receiving. You want to give everything you have, everything you are, to make that person happy. Even when there’s no person and you just know that there must be someone for you out there, hoping it’s the girl from school.
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