19°C and I’m freezing!

This few days I haven’t done much. And that’s a lousy sentence to start a post. (Personal note: the first topic to discuss in the writing club will be opening lines.)

As you might remember, the last few days my town has been suffering floods and cold, or what is cold for local standards, that I’m sure would pass by a sunny summer in other places. The average temperature is 17-21°C, and although that might sound nice for people reading this, keep in mind that we’re used to call fresh days to 35°C, which is almost all year excepting for a few weeks of winter and a few weeks of summer. And this came with some cartoonish consequences:

First, the pets are going crazy.

I haven’t said this before, but my family has four pets: three parakeets and a guinea pig. They’re usually happy and playful (except the one that bites and thinks he’s an all-mighty monarch), but the cold air and the sound of rain scare the birds and make them cry to go inside, something that they can perfectly do by flying or walking but won’t unless someone goes out to the backyard to get them. The guinea pig couldn’t care less about the coldness, though, but he likes to run around and lay on the floor, and he can’t do it when it’s wet and sticky. So now they’re screaming all day (or however that sound is called, right now I couldn’t care less) until my dad puts on some classical music and they simply follow the rhythm. It’s actually cute, as long as you don’t spend the whole day right next to them.

Second, I spend the whole day right next to them.

When the weather is cold, my knee hurts. I have an old injury that I refuse to get operated, but it limits my walking skills. And recently all public transportation raised their prices because a new tax was added (I hope a dementor catches you, EPN) so that’s not an option either. As a result, I have only gone out three times after New Year: once to go to the church, once to go to a certain event where my dad needed help and once because a friend came, which I’ll tell later. I get by doing anything that doesn’t require leaving my bedroom, which believe it or not can get pretty weird. A few days ago, for example, I was playing Team Fortress 2 online and got in a new server. It was the Sawmill map and there was a sniper standing right out of the spawn point. At first it just looked weird; it wasn’t doing anything, it was like if the player had left the computer and went to do something else…

Something more fun than the game.

And he wasn’t alone.

Yep, you guessed it.

They were banging. Through the speakers it was perfectly clear how they were having sex, and they might or might not have known that they left the mic on. It was awkward to hear them moaning, and when the screaming started I just disconnected. I didn’t know what to do; it was a weird situation, even for my standards. I mean, you expect those things happening on World of Warcraft or GTA, not on TF2. And later that day I found a server where all sounds were replaced with My Little Pony recordings. I just quit and didn’t play the rest of the day.

So after this reminder on what the internet really consists of, last Saturday a friend came to visit my. It was my only middle school friend with whom I keep in contact, and he insisted on going by the name of Sylar after I made him watch Heroes back in 2007. We had fun; we talked about old times and about our current lives and he told me he’s planning on getting married. Not yet, but in around two years. I’m very happy for him although I’m a bit worried about his future. He hasn’t even started uni yet, and he’s in his longest relationship, so I don’t know what to tell him. I just said I support him and he said I was going to be his best man. He’s the second one to ask me that, and I’m starting to worry. Am I suffering some masculine version of the Maid of Honour Syndrome? Will I see all my friends get married and stay behind?

Mhm, I don’t know, maybe I’m just paranoid.

Anyway, I started reading a fanfic I found: it’s called Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. It’s fantastic; I would even say it’s better than the original book. The premise is simple: in an alternate universe Aunt Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up in science and science fiction. After finding out about magic he decided to conquer both fields to essentially become a god. All right, maybe it’s not that simple. But if you like fanfics and Harry Potter you should read it, it’s amazing.

I have not much to say, so I will leave it at that until I get new adventures. And the three lessons of this week were:

1.- People on the internet will fill anything and everything with sex and/or ponies. Be careful when you browse.

2.- I’m old. My friends are already thinking about marriage and I haven’t even had a girlfriend in almost five years. I must find love before it’s too late.

3.- If I ever hear parakeets singing the Nutcracker again I swear I will jump off a bridge. Otherwhise I’m perfectly sane, please don’t worry.

Peace,

Écrivain

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