There’s a type of relationship where you love someone so much but you still feel a need to strangle that person. You know the kind: GLaDOS and Chell, Christian Grey and Anastasia, Jack the Ripper and… well, all those prostitutes…
I have that relationship with school. (What did you think I was going to write? I’m not that sick!) I love school, particularly my uni; I love learning and spending time with people with the same interests I have. That being said, there is nothing I hate more in this planet that waking up at 3:45 because someone at the government decided we should have 60-minute lessons (instead of the standard 50 minutes) and that we needed to start at 6 a.m. to be useful to society. It destroys the genius, I know. I need a couple of rats and electrodes to prove it, but you’ll see someday.
This week things were starting to be better for business. I’m starting to sell a bit more and I think I might be fully recovered by the time extra classes start. What I fear is that I’m losing some of my most loyal clients… because every time I get to one I see them with a cupcake. Whovie claims that we’re not direct competition but I guess she doesn’t see how her presence affects me. My business is oriented with people with hunger, crave for sugar and not much money; most of my clients buy me things because they can get a decent lunch for a few cents. But if she comes before me, those tiny, expensive cupcakes are irresistible. I have to start making new regular clients right now or I’ll lose all my business to her.
The bright side of this is that I’m working harder on my advertising. I figured out that since I’m trying to run six different businesses I could use a Facebook page. I’m working on doing samples of everything I do so I can post tem. School hasn’t let me work faster but I’ll do just fine.
And I have good news too: the writing club’s first session was great. Everyone read what we had made as a sample of our work, we talked about different topics related with books and I exposed the Project to them: we are going to write a book as a group. They all loved the idea and now we’re all going to present our characters for next Thursday.
And you probably are wondering what I’ll do for Valentine’s Day. The answer is… I’m not sure. First I have to stop being mad at Whovie, which I know I shouldn’t but it’s still happening. Then I have to figure out if I really want to do something with her, because lately I’ve been thinking a lot about Magikarp. She’s a really cute girl; she’s smart, funny, beautiful and one of my best friends, I can always count with her and so she can count with me. And we have a lot of fun together, more than what I have with most of my female friends, including Whovie and Curlz. In my mind she’s the kind of girl I would want a relationship with.
And that’s exactly the problem. It’s in my mind. I rationally know she would be perfect for me, and she might like me if circumstances were optimal, but I don’t feel anything. Nothing at all. I don’t have that wild, crazy desire that I have for Whovie, or that naïve, awkward curiosity I feel about Curlz. I know Magikarp is awesome, but I don’t feel it. Is this normal? Does love work that way? I’ve been thinking a lot about her recently, but I just can’t get my mind to do that. Maybe I’m just lonely and saw something where it can’t be. I don’t know. I need some advice.
Back to school topics, I already had all my classes, including the online class I couldn’t access to. It looks like I won’t be doing too much this semester except in Italian class. I got the best Italian teacher in my school and I loved his method. He says we’re going to work through Dropbox and there’s almost no homework. He even gave us the first unit of our book (downloadable for free on their website) so we have enough time to get the money. He only speaks Italian in class, and very fast, but it’s really easy to understand, although it takes a while to get used to the speed. Yesterday he gave us a talk about semantics that made me wonder about time. We have like a dozen tenses in English. Seventeen in Spanish. Nineteen in Italian. So why do we only conceive time as a linear progression of past-present-future when in reality it’s like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff? It’s highly illogical. (You see what I did there? Doctor Who + Star Trek quote!)
One of my goals is creating a certain fictitious language for one of my book series, and when I do I will fix this problem. There are a ton of pasts, present doesn’t exactly exist per se, and future can at least be divided into possible and certain. I will come up with a vocabulary that can explain concepts we understand but cannot talk about without using quantum physics or advanced Linguistics. And I will make it the official language of Mars. Ok, maybe that’s too much, but I could give it a try.
So the three things I learnt this week were:
1.- Business is hard. It’s difficult to compete with friends, and it’s more difficult if you have feelings for such friends. But competition makes a business grow, and that, after all, is better long-term. Besides, she’s just selling this semester.
2.- It’s not easy to be a writer, or at least, not as easy as I thought. Talent is not enough, you need discipline, inspiration and support. But team working can make even the loneliest of hobbies easier.
3.- Sometimes the mind and the heart disagree. Sometimes you know what’s best of you and don’t want it, or you know something will hurt you and still pursue it. But there’s one thing you most remember: no matter how hard it is to listen to one of the other… it’s way harder when they’re both yelling like nuts three days before Valentine’s Day.