Hello, fellas! This is part two of my last post. Feel free to read the introduction in The Legend of Korra’s narration voice.
The last time we saw our hero he was struggling with indecision: an unexpected proposal arrived with unclear intentions, an emotional episode got him into school privileges and a group of his associates had been reunited. But what turns would interfere with his mission, and what perils would endanger his club?
So, the last time I wrote I was talking about how my guy friend’s Valentine card was affecting my self-esteem. It was an awkward, depressing situation and I couldn’t find a way out because I didn’t even know if I was really in it. And to add to all of this, later that day I went with the Hipster crew and Whovie was there, talking about how she likes bad boys and describing exactly the type of guy (or girl) she’d date as my exact opposite. I spent all weekend thinking about all of this and I couldn’t even sleep well until I finally got the courage to ask Magikarp for advice, and she had really wise words to say:
“Are you gay? No. Are you a homophobe? Not that I know. Then this shouldn’t be affecting you. In fact, you should be flattered: someone out there thinks you’re attractive. I have those ‘am I really that ugly’ moments some times, but I finally realised that we’re students, and we’re only supposed to love our majors. There will be plenty of time for dating when we graduate, but until then, we have better things on our heads, like the Japanese homework we didn’t do.”
I was shocked for the truth of her words. I mean, I do care a lot about love, because I suck at socialising and if I ever get married it will definitely be with someone I met before leaving the uni, but it made me realise that I’ve been thinking it the wrong way. So what if I’m not a chicks magnet? I already knew that. But I’m smart, good with business and an artist, so I have nothing to worry. I will find someone; I must not let my impatience make me think otherwise.
The writing club, by the way, is growing faster and better than I thought. I presented them the Project: a collaborative novel in which we will work weekly. They all loved it and we spent several hours defining the characters and the plot. We still have to discuss publication, but I’ll try to make it known here in case we do it. For now we’ve talked about poetry and our next assignment will be to express our character’s feelings. This will be awesome.
Coming to school topics, the Italian teacher told us the uni is preparing an arrangement with an Italian university so we can apply to make an internship there, and it will be ready by the time I get the necessary credits. It would be amazing; not only because I could meet the places and learn the language, but because being there I can visit all of Europe. I would need to save money, and probably make more there (I’m thinking on selling Mexican food), but it would be worth it. So from now on my only goal is to improve my notes and get an Italian CILS certification so I can apply.
And yesterday I woke up with a new gained confidence. I had a weird dream, and I can’t easily explain all of the details, but it showed me what I was doing wrong and how to fix it. I’m working on most of my weak points and I think I can do a lot of self-improvement. But there’s one thing, one decision that will mark a difference forever.
I will tell Whovie about my feelings.
Until now, I have never directly done that, and I have lost three great opportunities for being a coward. Curlz was the most recent, but I have a sad past that I don’t want to bring up to the blog yet. The point is, I never tell anyone how I feel until it’s already too late. I’m going to break that pattern. I will tell Whovie that I really like her, for real, not just a discrete asking out. I know I will probably get rejected, but isn’t love about taking risks? This time I will take action in my own hands. I need to find a moment when we both have the time to talk about it, but it will be as soon as possible.
So, the three things I learnt these days were:
1.- Being loved is never a bad thing, even if it comes from an unexpected person. The important thing is to accept it and keep going.
2.- You don’t get anywhere in love without taking some risky chances. It might hurt, but it will hurt less than silence. Everything hurts less than that.
3.- I need to learn more recipes besides tacos and chilaquiles. If anyone around knows the grade of difficulty of getting corn flour in Venetia, I’ll be very thankful.