Carrots and sticks

This week I got in troubles just because. Have you ever needed to say something even though you are completely certain the answer will not be what you want? Well, I’m jumping in that pit right now, and if you have time reading me, you already know why.

Let’s go back a few days. In my last post I said I was going to tell Whovie how I feel about her. Well, right after I posted it I realised I’m completely scared of it. I have been rehearsing in my mind every possible scenario: good, bad and neutral. I have been practicing it in my head over and over, and preparing myself for the almost imminent rejection. I didn’t want to keep hopes high because I’ve done it before and I always end up depressed for weeks. So there I was, thinking about it all day and all night. Finally I decided to give myself some external motivation. I figured out that maybe if I had something to lose besides my illusions, something more material, I would get more pressed into doing it. It worked, but not in the way I hoped.

But let’s come back to that later. This weekend I found out about something awesome: Heroes will have a spin-off! For those of you who don’t know it, Heroes was a great TV show about people with special abilities (flying, regenerating, telekinesis, etc) who were first learning to use them. The show was fine, but the second season coincided with one of the darkest moments of Hollywood’s history: the 2007 scriptwriters strike. That meant that a good product of science fiction was written by aficionados and producers who didn’t quite have an idea of what they did, resulting on a horrible failure of which it never got over. It ended on a cliff-hanger, which was a shame because it was heading to some X-men-like action, but finally the NBC realised their mistake and they are going to do damage control next year, hopefully fixing the series and bringing it back.

Also, you might know I’m a big fan of Adventure Time, and I don’t want to give any spoilers but last night’s episode was incredible. It had comedy, drama, romance, suspense, hope and a good dose of wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff. Seriously, it will be one if the biggest plot points in the show and it probably has to do a lot with its ending. If you watch the show, get that episode now.

And yesterday I was thinking about Whovie when I found a friend, who I will call Ragazza by suggestion of some other friend. Ragazza was struggling to talk to a guy she likes, because she was raised old-fashion and she’s very shy. So, feeling confident and seeing an opportunity, I made a bet with her: if I got the courage to tell Whovie how I feel, she would have to flirt with him. If I failed, she’d get an all-you-can-eat buffet with my products. This way both of us would be motivated to talk with our crushes. She agreed and I was left, confident that I was going to win.

I was heading home when I found Rainicorn leaving. I remembered he had been looking sad, so I started to talk with him, thinking that maybe we could share our situations and feel a bit better. We were doing that when we found another friend arriving to school.

His name is Pew, and he was crying. We saw he was looking hurt; not only emotionally, but physically. His eye had a bruise and all. We stopped him to ask him what was wrong, and after a bit of reluctance he came with us and we all went to Rainicorn’s house. There he told us everything. He’d had a fight with his boyfriend and it got physical. The other guy was a jealous, dominant prick and he was abusing him. They had fought before but this time it was serious. The idiot asked Pew to give him his mobile, and when he refused he got attacked. It was getting ugly but Pew managed to escape with the idiot’s family’s help.

Now, I want to make a pause to state something very important. It doesn’t matter your age, gender or sexual preference, you should NEVER allow anyone to act this way. If your couple is jealous, harasses you, doesn’t let you have your privacy, or even gets to the point of physically attack you, get help immediately. You might think it’s “rough love” or “it’ll be too embarrassing to tell someone”, but trust me, nothing of that is true. If for some reason you can’t trust the local authorities, go to your friends and family. They will understand. An abusive relationship is not a fruit of love and nobody should ever treat you like that. If you ever feel like you need to hide the things that make you happy, or you’re too embarrassed about the last fight to tell even your closest people, that’s a sign things aren’t normal. Go to a responsible adult who can help you, and don’t let your couple near you. In Mexico we have a saying, “the strong lives until the weak allows it”. Don’t be a victim. Find a friend who can help. If you don’t think you can trust anyone, come to the blog; talk to me, I will do my best to help. But please, don’t stay silent.

Anyway, after hearing his story and giving him advice, we tried to cheer him up; we ended up talking about video games, school and stereotypes. We had a fun time and he got to smile again. I had to leave early because, well, it wasn’t early, but I saw them having fun, and today I spoke to him and he was doing fine. It made me think about how people with real problems can be happy. So I waited to the end of the day to find Whovie…

…And I chickened out. I just couldn’t do it, I don’t know why. I’ve been feeling like a coward all afternoon; I should’ve told her. At the end I just ended asking Curlz for advice and she turned out to be not really helpful. I guess she has never been rejected. I must ask to someone who has lived what I live, so I can listen to real advice. But I have until Tuesday to get the courage.  I must tell her.

And the three things I learnt this week were:

1.- Love is unpredictable. Sometimes it makes you brave and sometimes it makes you weak. It’s your choice to act one way or another.

2.- Remember that old saying about a donkey and a carrot and a stick or something like that? Well, that doesn’t work at all. Don’t listen to it.

3.- When someone loves you they don’t make you suffer. Don’t let it happen. If you suspect you or someone you care about is on an abusive relationship, read this link and go to this site for help. Or to this one. But please don’t be quiet. We will understand you. We only want your happiness.




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